The beginning of school is one of my favorite times of year. Having the classrooms decorated and filled with new toys is nothing in comparison to seeing your children move through the rooms with laughter, taking in each and every moment of enrichment with their friends and teachers. As I mentioned at the Parent Night, this year, was the absolute best transition any group of children has ever made to the preschool.
Now that your child is in preschool, he/she has become part of a larger community. They now spend a good part of their day learning to work and play in cooperation with others. For some, this is a new concept. Children of preschool age are naturally very egocentric, and move slowly from that realization to understanding the needs and feelings of others. Our teachers spend a great deal of time at the beginning of school helping your child learn how to operate in a shared environment. Some of the challenges involved in this include: learning how to share and learning how to understand the feelings and needs of others.
While “compassion” and “preschoolers” sound like an oxymoron; it is possible to get your child on the road towards treating others with fairness and respect. As parents, it is our job to gradually teach them about unselfishness, one baby step at a time. While it is important to keep in mind the limitations presented by their young age, there are a few strategies that you can use at home to facilitate compassion. When my girls were little, I used to talk about “sharing” the different foods at dinner time. I would say to my then three year old daughter, Katie: “I’m going to share some of my pasta with Daddy, and Emma!” Then I would ask Katie to “share” her napkin with me, and at dessert time I would ask her to “share” one cookie with everyone at the table. Using the word “share” many times (when it did not involve a great personal sacrifice- like sharing a favorite toy) helped Katie to feel successful at sharing.
Although kindness and consideration are the hallmarks of respect, they cannot be taught as easily as teaching a three year old to say “thank-you.” We can teach a child to be polite, but you cannot teach them to feel empathy. The best way to instill compassion in children is to demonstrate it yourself. This is a clear example of actions speak louder than words. As our children begin to show respect for others in small ways- when they are gentle with animals, when they share a favorite toy on a playdate-or give a hug to a classmate who falls on the playground, take a moment to compliment your child. Any time you have the chance to give your child the opportunity to do a kind act for a sibling, friend or relative you are giving them the chance to develop compassion. Taking the time to pay attention to this area of your child’s development will give them a wonderful sense of achievement and fulfillment, but you are also creating a foundation for ethical behavior and respect for others that will last a lifetime.
Pamela